Have you ever noticed that some people seem to be effortlessly popular and likeable while others have to work at it - often unsuccessfully ? Likeability is an elusive quality but one which can make our lives a whole lot easier both personally and professionally. So in this article, we’re sharing seven fun facts about being more likeable.
First of all, what do we actually mean by “being likeable” ?
Of course it can mean different things to different people. But in a nutshell, a likeable person is one
to whom others are drawn. They will often project a persona of warmth and friendliness which attracts others to them in all areas of their lives.
It’s true that for many people, this is a natural part of their personality. But it can also be learned - and we’ll talk more about that a bit later.
When we think about likeability we might picture someone who’s the life and soul of the party. Or maybe one who’s endlessly cheerful or engaging, but there’s a lot more to it than that.
So here are a few things you may not have thought too much about:
Generosity
Nope, we’re not talking about the guy who’s forever buying rounds of drinks or the gal who is always good for a loan. That type of generosity might make you popular in the short term but it doesn’t actually make you likeable!
We’re more concerned about generosity of spirit. The person who’s
generous with their time - and with their compliments - is the type of friend that most people will seek out. When somebody willingly offers their precious time to others they will almost always be seen as likeable.
Paying - not seeking - attention
We often think of likeability and popularity as two sides of the same coin but, in reality, they can be quite the opposite. It’s true that a person who constantly craves and seeks attention may appear to be liked from the outside. But of you think about it, their popularity will likely have a sell-by date as people tire of them. True likeability comes from paying attention to others rather than ourselves … and it will usually serve you well in the long run.
The power of passion
No, we’re not talking about bedroom prowess here, so calm down. We’re talking about a passion for a hobby or a cause. When somebody is passionate about a topic it can be contagious and their enthusiasm can draw others toward them like a moth to a flame.
This can be true at work, where commitment to a project draws others to the cause. It can apply to social groups, where enthusiasm for a common interest (football, art … you name it) will lift the general mood. And at home, too: think of the difference between a Christmas bolstered by excitement and fun … and one that isn’t!
A touchy subject
Some people are just naturally tactile but, when it comes to being likeable, there’s a fine line between making a connection and being just plain creepy. Likeable people will often make physical contact with others such as lightly touching their arm or hand during conversation. This can release a chemical in the brain known as oxytocin which engenders trust and positivity.
Needless to say, more personal touching is best avoided with the exception of very close friends and partners!
The perfect balance
While we’ve mentioned that likeable people aren’t necessarily the life and soul of the party, they do usually have a knack for balance. The likeable soul will generally balance fun with seriousness and, more importantly, will understand which is called for in any given situation.
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Positivity
The real mark of a likeable person is that spending time with them will leave you in a positive frame of mind - and looking forward to the next encounter. Likeable people will tend to make us feel good about ourselves as they make us feel valued and, more importantly, they’ll often listen without judging.
Empathy and mindfulness
Most likeable people have a talent for putting themselves in somebody’s else’s shoes and will therefore respond with empathy and mindfulness. For example, if you’re telling them about a painful breakup, they’re unlikely to respond by announcing their own engagement! The likeable person will always remain aware of other people’s feelings so they can offer support and understanding.
Putting Likability To The Test
How likeable are you? This may seem like a strange question but sometimes it’s difficult to measure our own likeability. And what do you know? We’ve developed our own simple online test that’s been used by thousands of people over the years to gauge their likeability level. It also pinpoints areas in which you may need work. And it takes just three minutes to complete. And it’s free. Can’t be bad…
Getting On Course To Be More Likable
We’ve mentioned that some people seem to take likeability as a given but it is also something which can be learned and honed. In many cases, we can become more likeable simply by ditching some bad habits and adopting a few new ones. But if you feel as though likeability just isn’t in your genes or you’re struggling to make changes, you could think about attending a course.
And, again, what do you know? We have a simple and extremely affordable online course that will work wonders if you need a little extra help. It will improve your confidence and raise your level of awareness about aspects of your relationships with others.
Taking Likeability Seriously
Being likeable isn’t just about having friends or admirers. It can also help us to get ahead professionally.
For this reason, paying attention to your likeability is every bit as important as working on job skills and other life skills in driving your success – and happiness – in the future.
