zandax online course logo
 
 
 
 
zandax 10 year anniversary
 
 
 
 
 
 
Home   >  ZandaX Blogs   >  Development Blog   >  Assertiveness Articles   > 
Why Being More Assertive Will Help Your Anger Issues

Why Being More Assertive Will Help Your Anger Issues

 
Being more assertive and self confident
Being more assertive in life could yield many great benefits. Not least of all because it can help reduce your anger issues. Find out more benefits.
 
Article author: Riley Mitchell
      Written by Riley Mitchell
       (7-minute read)
In life, people often seem to get it wrong, by going too far one way or the other.

If you're aggressive, you may get more done and get what you want, but it's obviously at the expense of other people, because it's a selfish attitude to have.

But if you take a more passive approach to life, you'll avoid upsetting people, though in the end, people might view you as spineless, walk all over you, and you will only end up feeling side-lined.

Balance is obviously crucial, and sometimes, just being able to say no in an assertive manner is enough to address that balance.



Aggressive behavior is only thinking about yourself, while passive behavior is only thinking of other people.  That, in a nutshell, is just about it.

Assertive behavior means that people know what you want and need ... and don't get upset about it.  But there's more to it as well, because by acting assertively, you gain the confidence that what you're doing isn't so one-sided, and people's positive response to how you behave fuels that growing confidence.

Passive-aggressiveness is probably the worst of all though, because that kind of attitude presents itself as being passive, but you then act in a subversive manner behind the scenes, doing damage.  Often, no-one sees it coming either.

To help you understand the importance of developing assertive behavior, in this article we're going to look briefly at some of the biggest benefits that can come from using it in your life, and how it can reduce and prevent anger problems, in yourself and in those around you.

As a quick aside, if you'd like to see how well you measure up in the assertiveness stakes, we have a free online assertiveness test that will show you what your main behavior patterns are, and how you can improve them.


Assertive Communication

Assertiveness can help you communicate more effectively. And communicating assertively will benefit all areas of your life, whether it's at work, home or in social settings.

A lot of people shy away from being assertive, mainly because they don't understand the difference between assertive and aggressive behavior.  But when you are trying to address something delicate or uncomfortable, and choose to be assertive, you will be better able to communicate your feelings, options and what you need from others.

The knock-on effect of that is that it will earn you other people's respect.

But how does this affect your anger issues? Well, poor communication often causes errors, and it's those errors that may trigger an angry response.  So if there are fewer of them, there will be fewer triggers!

Also, if you're feeling respected, there's less chance that you'll get angry if you feel you're being misunderstood or undervalued.

Want to Be More Assertive?


If you'd like to learn more about assertive behavior, why not take a look at how we can help?

Boost your assertiveness and self confidence with our online courses.
RRP from $49 – limited time offer just $11.99



Higher Self-Esteem

Assertiveness and self-esteem go hand in hand. You may have heard it said that aggressive people are just covering up for their own flaws.  And if you haven't, well you have now...

There's also a lot of research that proves that people who have an assertive attitude in life are more confident and feel better about themselves.

It's not about putting yourself first, as is the case with aggressive behavior, but it's more about taking your own needs on board.

And people with higher self-esteem are less likely to get angry, because there are fewer occasions when they feel undervalued. Do you also see how good communication and better self-esteem are also linked?


Better Equipped to Fight Negative Feelings and Thoughts

Our thoughts can have a huge impact on everything we say and do in life.

Negative thoughts tend to get negative results, whereas on the other side of the coin, positive thoughts breed positive results.  Obvious, eh?

When you work at becoming a more assertive person, you' re better able to identify and understand negative thinking and overcome it. Being assertive can remind you that you have the ability to overcome obstacles and achieve things when you really put your mind to it.

It's this ability to feel that you can overcome obstacles that helps prevent anger, too.  A major cause of anger is the sense that something is unobtainable or beyond control.  So now, instead of feeling that you can't get something (or somewhere) you feel like you're in a situation that can be improved.

There's no need to get angry...



Being a Better Listener

Although it may not seem to make sense, having an assertive attitude can actually make you a better listener. When you are able to better control how you choose to listen and interpret what people are saying to you, you will have a better grasp on miscommunications when they inevitably occur.

It works on both sides of a relationship too, because if you're more assertive and better at listening, you can create an environment where you and other people feel much more satisfied and happier.

And where you're more satisfied and happy, you're less liable to get angry!


More Ability to Set and Achieve Goals

Assertiveness enables you to successfully set goals and achieve them.

When you're passive, you may keep saying that you'll do this or do that, but never actually put in the effort or put yourself out there to achieve it.

However, having assertiveness means that you'll actually take the initiative and have a better idea of what you want - and how to get it. When other people are involved, it means you'll also be able to communicate and work with them to get the help you need to achieve your goals.

People often make the mistake of letting their passion, their determination, lead them into being too aggressive.  When this happens, they may achieve what they want, but it's often at the expense of relationships.  Because other people don't like it.

As we've already said, the prevention of obtaining goals is a trigger for anger. So having more ability to  set and achieve goals will remove those triggers.



Less Depressed and Anxious

Although stress is always around us, and often can be a good thing, if you have too much of it, it will have a noticeable and negative impact on your life.  But if you're assertive, you'll find that you have far fewer of the conflicts that create stress.

If you are prone to social anxiety and worry constantly about what people think and maybe worry about upsetting them, that can all change when you take a more assertive approach, rather than being passive (or worse, passive-aggressive).

Assertiveness gives you the power to stop worrying about what people think or about upsetting the apple cart.  You'll simply let them know exactly what you need and want from them. The more you do this, the more that fear diminishes. You'll often find that the worries you had about other people's likely reactions never actually transpire.

And if they don't transpire, yet again, there's much less opportunity for anger to raise its ugly head...


Being More Likeable

People wrongly take on a passive attitude, in an effort to avoid going too far the other way and becoming aggressive. But this usually doesn't have the desired effect.

Here's the thing: people don't respond to passive people as positively as they respond to assertive people. This is because relationships and interactions with assertive people are more balanced, satisfying and harmonious. You may avoid upsetting people by taking a passive attitude, but this actually makes it less clear about what you want, which leaves people hanging.  Being more assertive is a big step towards helping to avoid that.  And isn't being likeable what we all want anyway?
BTW, if you're interested, we show you how to be more likeable in our amazing (and maybe surprising) online course!  Just a thought...

And when the other person isn't left hanging, they're unlikely to start getting angry either. So it works both ways - a perfect balance!



As you can see, there are many reasons and great benefits from taking a more positive and assertive attitude to life and developing assertive behavior.  And in this article we've shown that one of the benefits - not recognized often enough - is that it prevents you, and the people around you, from getting angry.
That's got to be worthwhile, hasn't it?

Links to useful information

Personal Development:
There is no better investment you can make than to invest in yourself, and acquire skills that will last a lifetime.

Assertiveness:
Learn how easy it is to use proven assertiveness techniques to deal with bad behavior in others, and increase your own confidence and self esteem

Anger Management:
Understand what causes anger, how people fail to deal with it, and how you can manage it in yourself and others

Course: How To Be More Likeable:
Here's How to Be a More Likeable Person!

Test: Assertiveness Test:
Get your assertiveness score and your personalized report with points for action

Test: Likeable Person Test:
Get your likeability score and your personalized report with points for action

More Articles on Assertiveness

Why Women Are Seen as Abrasive When Being Assertive at Work
Why Women Are Seen as Abrasive When Being Assertive at Work
John B
Author: John B
About the article
Summary
Why are women seen as abrasive when being assertive at work? Why is assertiveness in women perceived negatively? Here are a few answers.
[ close ]
Using Assertiveness In Life: A Female Perspective
Using Assertiveness In Life: A Female Perspective
Kerry Watts
Author: Kerry Watts
About the article
Summary
Women are too often taken for granted or overlooked. Here, we explore what holds women back - and how to use assertiveness to turn the tide.
[ close ]
How You Can Stop Being Bullied By Learning to Be Assertive
How You Can Stop Being Bullied By Learning to Be Assertive
Ronnie Peterson
Author: Ronnie Peterson
About the article
Summary
Bullying does not stop as we reach adulthood. This article looks at how people can still be bullied as adults and how to stop this happening.
[ close ]
Nine Reasons Why We Need to Communicate Assertively
Nine Reasons Why We Need to Communicate Assertively
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
Thinking and behaving assertively can be two separate things but you need both for success. Here are nine reasons to think and act assertively.
[ close ]
10 Reasons Why Managers Prefer Assertive Candidates
10 Reasons Why Managers Prefer Assertive Candidates
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
What are the most important benefits of assertiveness and why do managers prefer assertive employees? Find out in ZandaX's blog article.
[ close ]
5 Work Situations Where It's Necessary to Be Assertive
5 Work Situations Where It's Necessary to Be Assertive
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
What are the workplace situations when you need to be assertive? Have a look at our top five tips so you can improve your people skills.
[ close ]
Why Is Assertiveness Important at Work?
Why Is Assertiveness Important at Work?
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
Why is assertiveness important work and how can assertiveness training help you become a more successful, more productive employee? Find out in this article!
[ close ]
Are You Scared to Say NO?
Are You Scared to Say NO?
John B
Author: John B
About the article
Summary
Why is saying no integrally important when part of a team or working solo? Read our post to find out and to learn how assertiveness training can help you.
[ close ]
6 Ways to Be Assertive With Your Boss
6 Ways to Be Assertive With Your Boss
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
Find out why being assertive with your boss is crucial in the workplace and exactly how you can be more assertive.
[ close ]
What Does Being Assertive Actually Mean?
What Does Being Assertive Actually Mean?
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
While assertiveness and positive thinking have many similarities, there are significant differences between the two. Find out what they are and how you can become more assertive.
[ close ]
How to Be Assertive at a New Job
How to Be Assertive at a New Job
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
Wondering why - and how - you should be more assertive in your new job? We've got you covered. Read our latest article to find out how to do just that.
[ close ]
How Does Assertiveness Training Work?
How Does Assertiveness Training Work?
Ashley Andrews
Author: Ashley Andrews
About the article
Summary
What is assertiveness and why would your company benefit from assertiveness training? How does assertiveness training work at all? Find out in ZandaX's latest blog article.
[ close ]
 

Write for us on the ZandaX blog

We're always looking for guest contributors to increase the variety and diversity of what we present.

Click to see how you can write for us:

 

The ZandaX Personal Development blog categories

Click a panel to visit the main category pages for the blog
Time Management
Time Management
Communication
Communication
Relationships
Relationships
Assertiveness
Assertiveness
[ This category ]
Anger Management
Anger Management
Stress Management
Stress Management

ZandaX Blog Contents

Want to see them all? Click to view a full list of articles in our blogs.

 
zandax online courses logo
"ZandaX courses are such great value, and with the help and support they give, there's no better option in the market"
ZandaX LinkedIn logo
ZandaX YouTube logo
ZandaX FaceBook logo
Course Categories
 
All content © ZandaX 2024