Do You Know What Triggers Your Anger?

All people have different perspectives, and react differently to triggers in their lives. For example, something that makes you incandescent with rage might not have any impact on your friend.

Anger is one of the eight basic human emotions.  So everyone feels it: it's just that some people are better equipped to handle it. Understanding what triggers your anger is key to managing it well, and avoiding negative reactions.



A great way to handle anger is to understand what your personal triggers are. For example, one of my friends has no patience with long lines (queues in the UK), or waiting times, and finds them incredibly frustrating. All it takes is ten minutes for him to become impatient and start to lose his cool.  But when this was pointed out to him, he decided to make a concerted effort to avoid these situations ... in this way, he has avoided anger.

So as you can see, identifying triggers can be very effective, and the good news is, it's not so difficult to do.

What Are the Common Triggers For Anger?

 Some situations or actions can anger almost everyone, even those with a calm temperament.  Here's a brief introduction to the different types of situations that can give rise to anger or frustration in almost anyone:

Unfair Treatment

 It's natural to feel angry when you're treated unjustly. Things like an unfair grade in a test, or a co-worker being given a promotion over you regardless of merit, inaccurate evaluation at work, and so on, are all common triggers.  That's because you perceive them to be unfair treatment. You can't control other people's biases or errors in judgment, but you can make them aware of them, through a little respectful conversation.

 Pressure of Time

 We live in a busy world, where everyone is in a hurry and hard-pressed for time. This inevitably leads to a number of frustrating situations.  For example, if you're running late and hit a traffic snarl-up, anger is a natural response. Similarly, you don't want to attend to personal calls or messages while you're busy at work, so if a family member or a friend keeps bothering you, it can be quite frustrating.

Time is a valuable commodity and no one likes to waste it. The best way to handle these situations is, if they're unavoidable, to just accept them.  If you're running late, inform the people who are expecting you of the delay, and relax. If someone is disturbing you at work, gently tell them you're busy and that you'll call them when you have the time.

 Dishonesty and Disappointment

 This is one of the most challenging triggers, because it forces you to deal with a wide range of emotions along with anger.  It arises because, no matter how much you try to avoid the situation, some people in your life will lie to you or betray your trust ... and anger is a natural response to that.  Spouses can cheat, close friends can turn against you, children may lie and hide things from parents, and a colleague may shift the blame of a mistake on to you.

These things can happen on a small scale or a larger one.  For example, a friend betraying your trust or forgetting about your birthday can both give rise to anger, but the former is more serious than the latter. Make sure that your response is proportionate to the mistake.

Threats to Self-Esteem or Pride

 Put-downs or insults are threats, and anger is an automatic response to situations like these. Society expects people to be thick-skinned and not react to situations that can impact a person's self-esteem ... however thick (or thin) skinned they may be.

But of course, these attacks can have a negative impact on the person's mind even if they seem indifferent on the outside.  It's why most people respond to insults with anger.

This can be triggered if someone mocks you or maligns your character.  In some cases, an embarrassing situation like slipping or tripping accidentally can be the trigger.  Whether anger is directed outwards or inwards, it's important to overcome the emotion and channel it someplace else.

Being Attacked or Abused

Physical or mental attacks take things much further than insults; they can be traumatic and leave behind deep, long-lasting scars. Survivors of such painful situations have to deal with a number of psychological injuries and messy emotions.  Anger, pain, and helplessness are often the result of abuse, regardless of the duration of it. Many victims suffer from PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, or depression.

The broad categories of abuse include child abuse, domestic violence, assault and battery, rape, sexual abuse, genocide, war, verbal threatening, random violence, and so on.

It's commonly said that victims of long-term abuse can turn into abusers themselves, because the suppressed anger needs an outlet.  Professionals can help victims find an outlet that doesn't harm anyone.

Prejudice or Discrimination

 Injustices such as a prejudice or discrimination are intensely disturbing to people who face them and can compromise their self-esteem, affect their professional life and personal life, and even threaten their existence.  Things like racism, sexism, classism, homophobia or discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community, discrimination based on a person's appearance, religious beliefs, etc., can foster rage.  It's enough to make you want to start a revolution (and some people do, but that's beyond the scope of this article...)

Determining What Your Triggers Are

 Identifying personal triggers requires a certain amount of self-awareness. Most people don't even realize what makes them angry until they're in the middle of it, and therefore can't avoid the situation.
So here are some tips that can help:

• Recognize the signs of anger like frustration, rapid breathing, tenseness, narrowed focus, etc. If you recognize the signs early enough, it's possible to remove yourself from the situation. Come up with a strategy for how to deal with things as you spot them.
• Maintain an anger diary or log where you can record all your triggers. This can help you work past unreasonable anger, especially if you're in a better temperament while noting the events down.
• If loved ones or friends tell you that you have anger management issues, listen to them! They can have an unbiased perspective and are able to recognize signs that you can't, especially if you're blinded by rage.

Identifying triggers helps people overcome anger management issues. The friend I mentioned earlier is more relaxed and carefree, less stressed, and has better control over his temper. While he does slip from time to time, recognizing triggers has helped him avoid conflict in both his professional and personal life.